Why & How Difficult Emotions Show You the Way to Unleash Your Potential

Marielle Fois
5 min readOct 23, 2020

I feel you. That overwhelming emotion creeps in. You sense it building up, and you fear it will trap you.

Maybe it was your boss that asked to speak with you. Or that problematic relationship with a family member or coworker. Perhaps you compare yourself to others. Or you dared to stand out. You name it.

You dread this feeling. You start telling yourself that you shouldn’t feel this way since there is no reason for it. You know you did nothing wrong. You think it’s their issue, not yours, and you should be over it by now.

You feel powerless and frustrated. You desperately struggle against the unpleasantness and heaviness that hangs over you. Your sole intention is to bring yourself back to a better state of mind.

What you don’t know is that, by doing that, you are wasting effort and energy. You are missing a valuable opportunity right in front of your eyes and that you should be using for your own ends.

Using the challenging circumstances in your life, you can unfold your growth path and unleash your potential.

1. Emotions Want to Be Felt

“This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.” — Jalaluddin Rumi.

Emotions arrive for a good reason. There is a purpose behind them, not a mere coincidence. They are a healthy and needed expression of your mind. Trust your mind when emotion comes.

Emotions want your attention. Be present, kind, and available. Do not push them away or run away. Instead, honor them by giving your full attention and feel them.

I know what you are thinking. Emotions can be very unpleasant, hard to bear, almost intolerable. But the unpleasantness is what they need to fulfill their purpose. It is by feeling them that emotions speak to us. You need to tune in and listen.

Tip: Do not buy into all the inner narrative that kicks in your mind that gets you down. If you let it take over, it will harm you.

2. Emotions Bring a Message for You to See

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung.

Emotions raise because there is something there for you to see, acknowledge, accept, and ultimately become aware of and integrate.

For as long as you ignore the emotion, it will perpetuate in your life. Your mind will scan for the following circumstance it can use to make it rise again. It is its means of giving the emotion another chance to make its way into your awareness.

We experience repeated patterns even if we promise ourselves we will never commit the same mistake or behave in a certain way again. Those kinds of promises are bound to fail.

How to stop the pattern starts with seeing through the emotion and understanding its meaning.

Tip: Be curious about the deep reasons that lie behind your emotion.

3. Emotions Reveal Where You Stumble

“We cannot change anything unless we accept it.” — Carl Jung.

The way you perceive life reflects your assumptions about yourself and the world. By observing your life, you understand what you believe is possible and not possible for you.

At every step of the way, our assumptions show up. Adversities are letting us know that we assume that life is complicated. Because you expect life to be difficult, that’s what you experience.

Every time you face a challenging situation, you know you bumped into an assumption that painfully limits you. You stumble because of this belief, not because you are incapable or not good enough.

Seeing the assumption starts the process for real change.

Tip: Think about whether you sometimes assume that life is complicated.

4. Emotions Are an Opportunity to Clear Your Way

“Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.” — Baruch Spinoza.

The more clear and precise the picture of your assumption is, and the more you feel the feeling, the more you will notice that the emotion dissolves and eventually disappears.

It feels like magic when you expose yourself to the same circumstance and realize that now you feel calm and at peace when before you experienced awkwardness.

This awkwardness was making you feel afraid, angry, concerned, or frustrated. Now, under the same situation, all of that has changed.

Your path has cleared. Before, you acted out of your triggering emotion, but now many possibilities open up for you to respond consciously.

Tip: Bring your emotions and assumptions to your meditation time and contemplate them.

5. And Now You Are Free to Unleash Your Potential

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you really are.” — Carl Jung.

As you repeat the practice of clearing your path, you acquire a new way of navigating life. You see challenging experiences as opportunities. You no longer avoid them or beat yourself up for what has happened or how you feel about it.

You are then well equipped to expose yourself to situations that get you out of your comfort zone. Public speaking, launching a business or getting out there to find a soulmate. Whatever you want to achieve in your life.

You know that whatever difficult circumstances arise, there is something there for you to learn.

As you walk your path, you are unfolding your potential along the way by bringing out the best in yourself.

Tip: Be sure that there is always something in store for you when you face a demanding situation.

Take the Journey Towards Becoming Who You Really Want to Be

You may dread specific situations in your life. You may feel the urge to run away, avoid them, or fix your emotions.

But if you learn to look through these experiences and take on the challenges they offer, you will find the most significant opportunities to free yourself from the beliefs that repress your potential.

You will feel confident to step out of your comfort zone and into the unknown. Instead of hiding, not acting, and letting chances pass, you will dare to try things out.

As a coach, I help my clients learn how to navigate their challenging emotions and take advantage of the opportunities these bring to them.

Contact me today to learn how to begin your journey towards a more conscious and meaningful life.

--

--

Marielle Fois

I help women transform challenging emotions into growth opportunities with Thoughtful Insights